we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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