So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
