Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
