I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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