eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
