Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
