im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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