So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
