Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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