You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize