no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
