Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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