if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
