The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize