Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
