i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize