i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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