pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
