I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i think my mom watched the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize