I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
