Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
