Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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