I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
