Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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