and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
