i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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