i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
