someone threw a dead crab at me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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