She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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