I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
