If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
