I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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