omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
