seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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