I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Terrible idea I love it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize