i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
