One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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