I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
