I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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