I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
