a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
