If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize