my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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