STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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