Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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