why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
