Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
