Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
