He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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