Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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