I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
