Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
