Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
