Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
