just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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