I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
