You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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