you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
