Too much gin, very little bucket
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
