4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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