My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.