oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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