He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize