Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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(305): Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did. http://tfl.nu/lrh7

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(678): View more from Georgia

Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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(678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting. http://tfl.nu/d568

Replies (14) Good night (3349) Bad night (767)
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(419): View more from Ohio

watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced

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(419): watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced http://tfl.nu/2xlb

Replies (35) Good night (928) Bad night (3280)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Where else am I to apply my creativity?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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(303): Where else am I to apply my creativity? (1-303): I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start. http://tfl.nu/ttid

Replies (5) Good night (3239) Bad night (925)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday

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(506): just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday http://tfl.nu/uetg

Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (1152)
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(217): View more from Illinois

This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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(217): This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates. http://tfl.nu/zki5

Replies (2) Good night (2455) Bad night (2165)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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(513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg

Replies (9) Good night (1567) Bad night (3623)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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(732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur

Replies (6) Good night (2346) Bad night (801)
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(949): View more from California

Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer

(1-949): View more from California

Party on wayne

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(949): Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer (1-949): Party on wayne http://tfl.nu/qjse

Replies (9) Good night (2936) Bad night (858)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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(937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37

Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (1363)
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(619): View more from California

I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"

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(619): I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn" http://tfl.nu/h75w

Replies (5) Good night (1498) Bad night (616)
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(518): View more from New York

He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.

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(518): He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one. http://tfl.nu/zjjj

Replies (4) Good night (1809) Bad night (666)
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(314): View more from Missouri

"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

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(314): "Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high. (1-314): When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic. http://tfl.nu/714c

Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (456)
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(631): View more from New York

You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition

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(631): You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition http://tfl.nu/5r22

Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (419)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.

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(860): You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/3rw4

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